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01 ∫ ( video )
[ When the device turns on, it sounds like Alisha is fiddling with it, trying to turn it on. It takes her a few extra moments to realise that she has, indeed, found success. A deep inhale—one of exhaustion and annoyance—can be heard before she speaks ] What the fuck is going on? If we've somehow pissed off another goddamn freak I'm going to kill you, Curtis. Who the fuck goes after some weirdo who [ air quotes ] "apparently" [ end air quotes ] controls dairy or whatever the fuck and - [ Alisha inhales, suddenly realising that she's talking at a strange device she's never seen before. It's not Simon's phone, or Nathan's, Curtis' or Kelly's. ] Hello? Where the fuck are you? Curtis? Simon? Kelly? [ A long pause ] Nathan? [ Alisha goes for her phone, trying to turn it on. She frowns ] Why won't my phone work?
[ A pause, and this time Alisha's voice is angrier ] What the hell did you do to my phone, Nathan? [ She glares. As if that will give her an answer from the twat. ]
Fucking answer me, you twat!
[ A longer pause as she waits for an answer that doesn't come. Alisha starts to look anxious. ] Look, if this is about the boy in the locker - or the probation worker - we didn't do anything, alright? I don't know shit. Whoever the fuck is doing this, please stop. Whatever the fuck you want, take it, alright? Just tell me where my friends are.
[ A pause, and this time Alisha's voice is angrier ] What the hell did you do to my phone, Nathan? [ She glares. As if that will give her an answer from the twat. ]
Fucking answer me, you twat!
[ A longer pause as she waits for an answer that doesn't come. Alisha starts to look anxious. ] Look, if this is about the boy in the locker - or the probation worker - we didn't do anything, alright? I don't know shit. Whoever the fuck is doing this, please stop. Whatever the fuck you want, take it, alright? Just tell me where my friends are.
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Jesus, do you ever stop being a total prick? Simon isn't creepy, alright? These people must be insane to willingly be your friend.
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He's like the definition of creepy. The staring, the following you about, all that creepy shit he says... I have to wonder why we like him, sometimes.
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And he doesn't follow me around! He may stare at you because of your antics. He's just different to all of us, is all.
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Your own boyfriend prefers to follow other people around? I'd start watching out if I were you.
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[ WHY ARE YOU SO FRUSTRATING. ] You're such a prick.
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[BECAUSE YOU'RE HIS BESTED GAL PAL WHO ISN'T KELLY.] What, are you jealous? It's not my fault Barry fancies me.
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[ She rolls her eyes and deadpans ] Yeah, I'm jealous of you. You can't even get his name right and I'm jealous he likes you more.
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See? Now, that wasn't that difficult, was it?
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Like pulling teeth.
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Don't worry. I'm sure Barry likes you almost as much. He'd probably like you more if you could give him proper sex.
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[ OH NO YOU DIDN'T. ] At least I can - [ N o p e. She doesn't want to tell him about Future!Simon. That shit's messy. And he'd just be a big bitch about it. ] - From what I hear, you're all talk. [ Yeah. Kelly may talk, man. ]