awkwards | 01 ∫ ( video )

[ When the device turns on, it sounds like Alisha is fiddling with it, trying to turn it on. It takes her a few extra moments to realise that she has, indeed, found success. A deep inhale—one of exhaustion and annoyance—can be heard before she speaks ] What the fuck is going on? If we've somehow pissed off another goddamn freak I'm going to kill you, Curtis. Who the fuck goes after some weirdo who [ air quotes ] "apparently" [ end air quotes ] controls dairy or whatever the fuck and - [ Alisha inhales, suddenly realising that she's talking at a strange device she's never seen before. It's not Simon's phone, or Nathan's, Curtis' or Kelly's. ] Hello? Where the fuck are you? Curtis? Simon? Kelly? [ A long pause ] Nathan? [ Alisha goes for her phone, trying to turn it on. She frowns ] Why won't my phone work?

[ A pause, and this time Alisha's voice is angrier ] What the hell did you do to my phone, Nathan? [ She glares. As if that will give her an answer from the twat. ]

Fucking answer me, you twat!

[ A longer pause as she waits for an answer that doesn't come. Alisha starts to look anxious. ] Look, if this is about the boy in the locker - or the probation worker - we didn't do anything, alright? I don't know shit. Whoever the fuck is doing this, please stop. Whatever the fuck you want, take it, alright? Just tell me where my friends are.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Weeell...cooler than NO power, but...as far as powers go, that one's rubbish. Suppose he could end up wi' an army a' pregnant animals, unless it's only cows. Either way, it's more hilarious than impressive.

[ Alisha laughs ] I feel sorry for the cows, then. Kinda wish I got to see if he could really control them.

I'm Alisha.

I'm Campbell. D'you control anythin', Alisha?

Nothing good. Nothing like dairy.

Kind of got a stupid power myself, but it's more like a pain than anything useful, y'know?v

Aye, well, I went over that wi' Nathan, if we mean the same one, that is, though I suppose I went over it wi' at least A Nathan. I'd rather have a shite power than none at all, I think. Though I guess some powers are even too useless for me to want. If it's no useful does that mean you're no a superhero either?

Nathan's immortal. I have a feeling we're talking about the same prick.

I don't think I am a superhero. People can't touch me without becoming ridiculously aroused. [ She rolls her eyes ] It's a fucking burden.

Aye, that's him.

Really? Cos it--d'you mean you cannae control it? Even wi' your mum?

Probably. I didn't go out of my way to touch her. [ Oh god. She wouldn't want to! ] She's a bit pissed at me.

Anyone I touch becomes infected. Doesn't matter if you're my mum, a friend, someone I don't even know. I touch you and my power kicks within seconds. Or whatever is smaller than seconds.

01 ∫ ( video )

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;