awkwards | 01 ∫ ( video )

[ When the device turns on, it sounds like Alisha is fiddling with it, trying to turn it on. It takes her a few extra moments to realise that she has, indeed, found success. A deep inhale—one of exhaustion and annoyance—can be heard before she speaks ] What the fuck is going on? If we've somehow pissed off another goddamn freak I'm going to kill you, Curtis. Who the fuck goes after some weirdo who [ air quotes ] "apparently" [ end air quotes ] controls dairy or whatever the fuck and - [ Alisha inhales, suddenly realising that she's talking at a strange device she's never seen before. It's not Simon's phone, or Nathan's, Curtis' or Kelly's. ] Hello? Where the fuck are you? Curtis? Simon? Kelly? [ A long pause ] Nathan? [ Alisha goes for her phone, trying to turn it on. She frowns ] Why won't my phone work?

[ A pause, and this time Alisha's voice is angrier ] What the hell did you do to my phone, Nathan? [ She glares. As if that will give her an answer from the twat. ]

Fucking answer me, you twat!

[ A longer pause as she waits for an answer that doesn't come. Alisha starts to look anxious. ] Look, if this is about the boy in the locker - or the probation worker - we didn't do anything, alright? I don't know shit. Whoever the fuck is doing this, please stop. Whatever the fuck you want, take it, alright? Just tell me where my friends are.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not sure anyone really knows what it's about. People just get pulled here for no real reason we can figger.

Does sorta pull extraordinary people though.

I'm Rose Tyler and I think the whole place is brilliant. [This is so going to bite her in the ass one day]

Alisha Bailey.

[ You've caught her interest. ] What do you mean by extraordinary?

Pleasure to meet you.

I've met people from home here that I never thought I'd get to see again. It's got unicorns at the zoo and some sorta races in the Underground. There's vampires and people from other worlds and other dimensions and time lines here. It's brilliant.

Likewise, though kinda wish it had been where I hadn't spilled my dirty laundry.

Unicorns? Horses with the horn? The mythical things? They're real? [ sdjkfls holy shit ]

S'alright. M'a big girl.

Yeah. Brilliant innit? Didn't know they were real 'til here.

Jesus. What other shit is here? Don't tell me Santa is real.

Far as I know, no but haven't been here for Christmas yet so...could be? I'll have to ask the Doctor. [Because he is her go to for information such as this.]

[ Frown ] Doctor? Like one of those ER guys?

No. He's my mate. That's his name, The Doctor. He's here too.

[ Alisha's eyebrows rise. ] So on his birth certificate it'd be [ air quotes ] "The Doctor" [ end air quotes ] ?

[ She doesn't comprehend this. ]

Guess so. Never seen his birth certificate but it's the only name he goes by. [She's not going to mention that occasionally he calls himself 'John Smith' because that'll just confuse things even more.]

So it's like an alias?

No, just his name. It's what everybody all over the Universe knows him as.

[She knows, it's confusing.]

Universe? Is he famous?

[ Confusing does not begin to describe it. ]

A bit. In some worlds. Sorta depends on who you ask. [Yes. That was concise and informing.]

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